Bored

I was chatting with some young ladies the other day about being a mom. None of these ladies is a mother, nor should they be yet, given their ages. Nevertheless, we discussed various aspects of motherhood. Upon hearing that I do not work outside the home but instead am employed in what I call my "Dream Job" as a stay-at-home mom, one of the girls said she could never do that because she would be so bored.

I was not offended at this comment. Partly because I am not that easily offended, and partly because she is just a young girl who is not even close to being a mom and just doesn't know what she is talking about. Having said that, many of us moms have heard the same comment from fellow mothers who do work outside the home. Every time I hear it I am always perplexed by the phrase. How could you possibly be bored? I would welcome that phenomenon from time to time!

If I could, I would love to tell both groups of women, those young ladies who will one day be mothers, and also those current mothers who do work outside the home, why I am not bored in my vocation. Since I have this endlessly empty page on which to write, I will just go ahead and do that.

In my role as a mother, I spend a lot of time putting kids to bed, making food, feeding the children, cleaning up after meals, changing diapers or potty training, playing trucks and farm, or reading books. I am also a wife of a full-time worker, so in that role I make sure my husband is fed, has clean, ironed clothes, and comes home each evening to a relatively clean, peaceful house and a good meal. I am also in charge of our finances which entails budgeting, paying bills, and being thrifty with our money. That is the bulk of what I do. But there is a reason behind all of this. I have many goals I hope to achieve as I live out my vocation as a mother and wife, and I see no other way to achieve those goals at this time than to be at home.

My main goal is to see that my husband and children go to heaven, or at least do everything I can to help them on their way. In working toward that goal, I need to impart my faith to my children from birth and each day after in little bits and nuggets that they can understand. I am seeing a real faith in God emerge from my almost 4 year old and it is beautiful. But without day-to-day conversations about faith, I am not certain that he would be so early in developing a relationship with God.

Another goal I have for my family is peace. I see many families who are running ragged. I am sure I will see ragged days in the future when my children are older and have more outside activities. But for now, I want them to know a life of peace and calmness, to the degree that it's possible. It's often in the slower times that I have the opportunity to really get to know my children, which is incredibly important.So staying home with them helps this out. There is order to our house and to our lives. We don't have a lot of things to rush out to, we can usually go at our own pace. And, given my personality, I am more at peace which makes everyone happier. My husband is happiest when I am happy and peaceful and content. The saying, "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," comes to mind.

I will spare you readers from a longer litany of other goals, but I will add one last one. I have a goal of healthfulness for my family. To meet that goal, I try to give my family the best nutrition I can. That means cooking more foods from scratch and eating out less often. I bake my own bread when I can, make extra food for the freezer so quick meals are also healthy, and use the best ingredients I can afford. This is just a part of meeting that goal, but it is one that takes time and I don't think I would be able to do much of that if I were not at home. And if my kids were at daycare or a babysitters, I would not be able to monitor their eating as much and they would also be exposed to more illness.

Now, as far as being bored, I must throw in something I heard a long time ago and I think it's really true. Only those who do not understand their purpose in life are bored. If you understand your mission, you are never bored because that is always in your thoughts and you will work toward that mission and purpose. I know and understand my current mission well, so that I am always working toward my goals as a wife and mother. If I find some time when I can rest, or just enjoy life, then that is a bonus mini-vacation which revives my spirit to continue in my mission. If you look at it this way, even the most mundane tasks for any mom don't seem so bad. For instance, I don't LOVE to do laundry, but I DO love it that my husband always has clean clothes and doesn't have to spend any time or energy on that part of life. Also, I do NOT love to do dishes, but I DO love the feeling of waking up in the morning to a clean slate, a peaceful and tidy kitchen, just ready to get messy again. I do NOT love to change messy diapers, but I DO love the time I get to spend, one-on-one with my littlest child, laughing and learning about who he is.

So, to future moms, please consider this as the time approaches for your own family life. Make decisions prior to motherhood that will allow you to follow the stay-at-home path if you should choose it (ie: don't buy a huge house that requires 2 full-time incomes). Learn to make sacrifices with a glad spirit so that when you do find yourself with kids and a house and a husband that you are already good at giving of yourself for the good of others. Seek out God's call in your life for your vocation so that you can be sure that, even though it's hard, what you are working toward is in line with God's will.

And for any mothers who work, I PROMISE you, if you stayed at home and had your goals for your family in mind each day, you would NEVER be bored.

Me bored???? No.

Two Many?

I have 2 little boys and I am 37 years old. If I could have chosen a little different path, I would have been married earlier in my life and would have had at least 4 children by now. But, there are some things you just can't control. I put my life in God's hands years ago and have waited on Him to give to me what He thought was best. Well, I can't really argue with that, looking at my 3 beauties... husband included.

But anyone with 2 little children can probably relate with me that this is HARD! There is an incredible lack of sleep from time to time, there are countless sacrifices each day, there is a dying to self that is too deep to explain. At times I think back to life before children and am able to do so with fond memories. When it was just Brad and me and our freedom! I can even recall many happy times before I was married. And, at the same time, I can also look forward to a time when my boys are older and more self-sufficient. A time when I can run an errand or go to the gym and just leave them here without the hassle and expense of a babysitter. So when parents at this stage in family life decide, "WE ARE DONE!" I guess I can see how they come to this conclusion with a similar looking forward to an easier time down the road. If you don't have any more children, that road becomes shorter.

But I have seen the other side of life with one or two children who are growing up or grown and parents whose "dream" has come true. And I have to say, it doesn't look as good as you might think. My next door neighbor is around 50 years old and has an empty nest. Her 2 boys have grown and gone and she now has a job, a dog, and a really nice yard. I can imagine that her house is usually really clean and that they do lots of fun things in the evenings and on weekends. When we were chatting recently I mentioned we hoped to have more children. She said that was good. Then, with deep and sad regret, she relayed what she and so many friends of hers are going through now, in these lonely days post-child-raising. After having 1 or 2 kids and feeling much the same as I do now, they made the decision to "be done." But, not long after the kids began school, the life they hoped for slowly became a reality and eventually those kids left. Suddenly, they are alone and those new feelings of loneliness are so much deeper and greater than the loneliness of mothering little ones. There was such regret and even the sense of loss in the story she told me. She admitted that she and most of her friends wished they would have had more children.

My opinion is there is a lie being told to us. It began decades ago. The lie is that life without children is better. For a host of reasons: over-population, having a dream career, getting great sleep, being able to travel, etc. What is overlooked is that children are a blessing. Yes, it's hard to raise young children. Yes, you give up freedom and all the rest. But children are FOREVER. Everything else a person hopes for in life is fleeting and will go away.

I had an experience being with my Father-in-Law when he passed away. For the weeks and months he was sick and dying, at least one of his four kids and their spouses and the 2 grandchildren were with him, comforting him and praying with him. Then, when he was struggling for life at the end, his whole family was with him. He passed away with 3 of his 4 kids at his side, praying for him, loving him. I was there, watching this love exchanged and being grateful that he chose to give life to these 4 great people, one of whom is my husband. I considered how the generosity he had to give life and to love 4 children had come back to him at the end of his life. I saw this full circle of love before my eyes and was deeply affected.

My resolve is that I will accept any children God chooses to give me. I will accept the challenges that come to me daily with generosity (as much as possible, anyway.) I will love these children, and KNOW these children, and give them the best life I can. I will find joy daily amidst the chaos. And I will do whatever I can to come to the end of my life without regret, surrounded and filled by the love I gave away.

Chip Graveyard

I have a chip graveyard in my pantry. I buy a bag of chips, we eat most of them over the course of a few days or weeks, and then the nearly-empty bag of undippable sized morsels goes unopened for another few days or weeks or.... In the meantime, another bag of chips is welcomed into the family and it goes through the same life-span and finds its resting spot next to the other useless bags of crumbs. I just can't bear to throw them away, thinking that I might find a use for crushed chips. Like a yummy topping to soup or a surprising crunch in a bland sandwich. However, I don't do those things. I just keep putting more bags in the pantry that will all eventually get thrown into the garbage in a moment of self-disgust at my lack of organization.

I suppose the same is true for lots of areas in my life. I guess I have a hard time finishing some things all the way. If I turn around right now I will probably spy at least one item in the kitchen that did not get washed or dried or put away to finish the cleaning process. Rather than spending another 2 minutes to complete the job, I gave in to my sloppy side. My leaving things half done says, "I have had enough of this, and it's not the end of the world if I don't finish."

I can only hope that when it comes to the truly important things in life, like my faith, my marriage, and raising my children, I will have the staying power it takes to thrive and find true rewards. Rewards even better than the surprise of munching salty-crunchy chips tucked into a boring sandwich.

Treasures

Many times throughout my life I have opened my bible to a random page, read a few verses, and then meditated on what God might be trying to say to me. And many times, I blunder around, asking, "does He mean this?" or "maybe I'm supposed to think this."

Other times, though, as soon as I begin to read I hear the swooshing sound of a two by four soaring through the air and finally finding its resting place firmly between my eyes. Whack. Today was the 2 x 4.

This week we find our family in a bit of a struggle. To work though it, we decided to seek God's grace and wisdom to see us through. My wonderful husband left the house early- tired and hungry, and went to daily mass. I wanted to join him somehow, so I decided to read and meditate upon today's gospel reading. The title of the passage for today... "Do Not Be Anxious." WHAM, 2 x 4.

As I read I knew God was speaking directly to my heart. He has taken care of everything. He knows our needs in advance. He allows struggles, both big and small, so that we never become independent and think we can handle it on our own. He calls us to constant faith in His Word, and He never disappoints.

The passage ends, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." I know my treasure well. They are sleeping peacefully a few rooms away, or driving home after worshiping the God who loves us. I pray I will always be well-aware that my treasures are my family and that my heart resides with them. God will take care of the rest.

Today's Gospel is Luke 12:22-31

Until there was Roux

There are many things that I have learned in my life that I wish I had known sooner. For instance, I wish I had known that spray painting an old baker's rack on the lawn will make the lawn look black - for a long time! But an even more useful bit of knowledge is the amazing, versatile, beautiful marriage of fat and flour known as a roux (pronounced "roo," as in Kanga's baby).

I guess, in all fairness, I had used this concoction in my younger years. A few of my mom's recipes that I have adopted include some form of a roux. But what I didn't know is how you can start with some butter and flour in a pan and from there create a multitude of yummy sauces. It's almost like a bit of magic. I don't understand the chemistry of the combo, but I want to share are a few tasty creations that begin with butter and flour.

Macaroni and Cheese
I don't buy boxed Mac & Cheese. I prefer to use real cheese. This is the way you can use healthy, simple ingredients just as fast as the boxed method.

* Boil the amount of noodles you want (don't forget to add a good bit of salt to the water).
* Have about a cup of milk and a cup of cheese ready. (I use sharp cheddar).
* In another sauce pan, melt 1 tablespoon of butter. When it is nearly melted, add 1 tablespoon of flour. Whisk together until the flour is cooked just a bit, but doesn't get too dark.
* Whisk in about 1/3 of the milk and keep stirring until it gets thick. Then add the rest of the milk and keep whisking.
* Add the shredded cheese and stir it up. (a silicone spoon works best here.)
* Taste it and add salt to your taste. Toss in the drained noodles and you're done! YUM!!

Mexican Cheese Sauce
Make the same recipe for Mac & Cheese with the following changes:
* Don't make noodles.
* Use pepperjack cheese
* Stir in your favorite salsa after you add the cheese.

This is amazing drizzled over some crunchy tater rounds and then dipped in a little sour cream. Taco John's Potato Ole's with Cheese and Sour Cream. Same great taste but it doesn't make you feel yucky when you're done! Also good to use for nachos.

(A great pregnancy treat!!)

Gravy... Easy and Delicious
Until there was Roux, I had never made a good gravy in my life. Now my gravy always tastes great.
* Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a pan, then add 1 tablespoon of flour. Whisk this together until the flour is cooked and the color gets nice and dark, like a cup of espresso with just a little cream.
* Add about 1/3 cup of chicken or beef stock and whisk until thick.
* Add more stock until it's enough gravy for you.
* Taste and add salt if you need it.
* You can add just a touch of milk or cream with chicken stock if you'd like.

EASY!!! Want more ideas?? Let me know!

2 Weeks of Sick

We are on the end of a 2 week bout with some bug that has left me exhausted, and a little delirious. Even though I was spared the illness myself. (Actually, I think I got jipped... I was never afforded a relaxing day in bed being catered to while catching every HGTV show and 7th Heaven rerun possible.) Taking care of my sick boys, husband included, took a lot of energy. Surprisingly even more difficult, though, was just getting totally out of our rhythm. We are not stuck to a strict schedule, but there is a general rhythm to most of our days. Now that we are struggling to get back to normal, everything has been altered a bit... or a lot. Naps, meal times, activities, everything has changed somehow and now I am on a mission to return to normal life.

As far as the delirious part, I think all this mucous has affected my brain rather than infecting my body. I now treasure what I call "Snotty Booger kisses". I treasure them because kisses mean people feel better. I don't seem to mind the slimy connection I have to the kisser long after the child has ceased kissing me. But if my "Booger Song" gets out, my status as an adult might be in danger.

Yes, being sick really makes you appreciate being well all the more. But even an abundance of body fluids and excretion doesn't cause me one longing for my single life. It is all worth it!

Do It NOW!

This is for all of my co-procrastinators: If you see that something needs to be done, and you have already noticed this something a dozen times in the last 6 months, and you are beginning to have the same thought again, "Oh, that really needs to be done, but I'll remember to do it the next time...."

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Case in point: I have seen my cold air return vents collecting dust over the past few weeks. Usually, I make a mental note to make sure I get that vacuumed the next time I am cleaning the living room. But, the next time I'm cleaning I'm not looking at the return vents and the thought doesn't even enter my mind. Today, I overcame my procrastinating tendency. I began to think, "Oh, I definitely should clean that the next time I, NO! I'll just do it right now." I took out the vacuum and captured the dust and fur monsters clinging to life on my vent slats. Victory! I am the champion over the temptation to do what I usually do.

Of course, I returned the dirty brush attachment back to the vacuum storage compartment, knowing I should have cleaned it first. Oh, I'll do that the next time I vacuum. :-)